


Do you know what to day is?

by Tes_aes



Category: Captive Prince - C. S. Pacat
Genre: Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Grief/Mourning, Hurt/Comfort, Loss, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-12
Updated: 2018-03-12
Packaged: 2019-03-30 04:27:49
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,305
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13942593
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Tes_aes/pseuds/Tes_aes
Summary: Laurent was harsh and cruel once more. Damen was so lost as he tried to find out why.





	Do you know what to day is?

**Author's Note:**

> I hate this. it's so bad. great concept and shit execution sigh.

Laurent was cold; he was distant. His sharp remarks making a return after so long of a happier, kinder Laurent. Damen was lost when that sharp tongue turned on him one evening over dinner. It was a shock as he took a deep draught from the wine in front of him and conversation stopped at their table, everyone looking at each other or staring awkwardly at the food before him. Laurent glared down at his own plate and Damen pushed his away, having lost appetite. This was the first piece of personal conflict they ran into as a couple since joining their kingdoms and making a permanent palace along the border.

Over the course of the next week Damen was fast growing worried over Laurent’s apparent avoidance of him. Had he done something wrong? No Laurent would have told him if that were the case. He took solace in wine, documents and training while Laurent didn’t come to their bed at night and only offered harsh remarks instead of conversation. Damen leaned over a balcony with Nik beside him, they looked out over the gardens below as Damen tried to voice his questions.

“Why does he hate me again?”

“I do not think it’s hate he feels,” Nik turned his head to look at Damen, “His actions are those of a wounded animal lashing out.”

Damen frowned and sighed, he didn’t get it. Laurent avoided him and anyone else for that matter. Even in council he was silent or making remarks on someone’s poor conduct of a situation without crossing any lines in the elegant way he did. Damen tried to place his hand on Laurent’s knee where it was pushed off before it could even settle. Damen couldn’t help rising from the table and standing by the window with a frustrated huff.

“Exalted.” One of the men at the table started but fell silent after a look from his king.  

With Nikandros’ prompting the room was cleared. Only Laurent, who sat sipping water and Damen, fists clenched on a window sill, were left in the large meeting room. Neither of them spoke and slowly Damen’s anger turned to nervousness. He didn’t want to be the first to speak for fear of stumbling on his words and provoking Laurent further. Both were ridiculously idiodic when anger took over, making the worst of mistakes. Damen turned to Laurent finding him by the shelving beside him instead of seated at the head of the table. They stared at each other; Laurent’s gaze cool and unreadable while Damen was openly searching for some kind of answer within his expression.

“Do you detest me?”

“No.”

“Can I hold you?”

“No.”

“Will you tell me what is wrong?”

Laurent broke his gaze instead of answering, looking out the window as well. Slowly Laurent’s pale hand moved besides Damen’s and his fingers shyly brushed against Damen’s knuckles. He knew Laurent was hurting but he had promised he’d never let him hurt alone- a promise made unbelievably hard when Laurent refused to open up about his troubles. He had gotten better at coming to Damen about issues but still he remined silent when things got hard. Damen tried to tell Laurent this but the blond king just nodded and looked down at their hands. Then he was gone, briskly walking out of the room with his head high.

Damen found himself isolated from Laurent once again over the next two days. Conversation was limited but it wasn’t for lack of want or topics it was simply from Laurent’s own troubles weighing him down. In subtle ways Damen let him know that he would wait for him to talk and in turn Laurent did small things to reassure Damen in turn. Outsiders saw their relationship as strained, but Damen knew that the three taps on the goblet in Laurent’s hand meant _I love you._

The revelation to Laurent’s issues came during an afternoon visit to Paschal.

“You do know what today is?” the now well aged physician asked.

 “A Tuesday?” Damen frowned as he rolled his shoulders.

“Today would have been Prince Augustes birthday.”

“Oh,” Damen looked at the other before his eyes widened, “ _OH.”_

Damen didn’t stay to talk much longer as he began an inquisition as to where Laurent could be found. Within a matter of minutes Damen found himself in their rooms, looking towards the area of their bed and noting the blue clad body upon it. There was no noise, but Damen could see the small movements of Laurent as he cried. Slowly Damen approached but made sure his presence was known. Laurent didn’t turn to look at him but also did not shove Damen away when he placed a hand on his shoulder. Laurent made a noise as if he wanted to say something, but it changed to a quite sob as he grabbed Damen’s hand instead.

They were silent as Laurent cried before the blond king spoke, “I miss him, I’m sorry.”

A fresh wave of tears hit as Laurent tried to hide his face, but Damen pulled him up into his arms, telling him it was okay, and he didn’t have to say sorry. Damen felt his chest twist with guilt and Laurent’s own suffering. A childhood lost, a family gone and years of abuse. They had talked about it when the moon was on it’s way back down once before and like now, they had cried together. Damen wished he could change things, but Laurent said he was happy with what they had now. He said they would never have this if all those events hadn’t happened. Still wishing and kisses were helpful.

“Laurent,” Damen struggled to find words of comfort, “He would be so proud of you.”

Laurent seemed to slowly calm as Damen spoke soft comforts. Damen’s deep voice drifted into a hum as Laurent closed his eyes and settled into his husband’s arms. Kisses peppered his face as Damen moved so they were laying down together, Laurent’s back to Damen’s chest. Their legs tangled, and hands held onto each other.

“You know you can talk to me when it gets hard.”

“I know,” Laurent sighed before laughing softly, “sometimes I feel like I’m still 15 and alone… it’s a cruel mindset to shake.”

After a pause Laurent spoke again, “The last birthday he spent with me was a massive celebration. I remember bursting into his chambers and jumping on his bed shouting that he was old now. He had laughed at me before putting me in a headlock and completely messing up my hair. Father met us in the gardens where we ate fruits and every kind of sweet baked food there was- Auguste had loved the strawberry tarts most. There were so many well wishers and officials coming to see Auguste but he had only payed attention to me. He even indulged in a game of hide and seek and chess in the afternoon. We laid in the grass with our shoes and jackets off, laughing about what kind of King Auguste was going to make.”

Laurent played with Damen’s hands as he spoke, a comfort to them both as a painful topic was delved into. His thumb ran over Damen’s knuckles before lifting his hand and placing a kiss on the back of it. Again, Laurent apologized but Damen told him he had nothing to say sorry for. Damen forever regretted that day at Marlas but the past was the past and slowly he was learning to make peace with it. The future was bright and promising. He told this to Laurent and silently they both made promises to the other. Damen promised to never let Laurent be alone, to always be there for him even when he wasn’t wanted. He was going to make it a kingdom and this.


End file.
